There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Boobs speak an international language.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
