I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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