what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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