So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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