When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
