There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
