Sponge bath it is.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
