a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
