margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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