I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
