Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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