I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
