we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
