do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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