Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
