'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
