That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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