I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
