Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
