Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
