...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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