question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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