Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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