Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
