My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
