that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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