My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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