i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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