I bet he comes in French.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
