I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
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