I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
