She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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