please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize