Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
