Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
