would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
