he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
