No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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