I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
