Jerry, you need to find god
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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