is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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