Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
