"it" just moved
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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