Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told me they were just razor bumps!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
