I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
