wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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