She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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