I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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