At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
