Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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