You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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