Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
