apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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