I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
