atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
