I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I believe in your delicious
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