Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
