They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
