It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
