in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
