Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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