last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
