oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
