yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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