I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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