He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
