do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
