just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
