go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
