ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
