And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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