Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
