You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
