I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
