Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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