Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
