normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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