Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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