C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
