Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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